The climax of a narrative or sequence of events...

Who would have thought that the payoff for all the aforementioned hardwork would come so soon? Today, I found out that I am the first ever Director of Public Relations and Marketing for The Burr, one of the school magazines (which is a paid position!).
About 15 minutes after finding out that I got the job, we had our first meeting and we have another meeting on Friday. I feel like I'm being inducted by fire...but I absolutely love it!

Some initial ideas for promotion:

1. Incorporate local businesses into the campaign by asking them to host promotional concerts.
2. Create a grassroots movement, similar to the Obey phenomenon, of ambiguous promotion materials to spark interest and interaction.
3. Taking a multimedia approach to promotions by utilizing standard items such as stickers, fliers, etc...as well as promotional spots in other forms of student media, online videos and, perhaps, photojournalistic efforts.


All of this was cultivated in under an hour. I'm getting very good vibes about this!

I can see my future reflected in the snowflakes.

Here I am, plugging away at my PR case study, surrounded by masses of the student body, all persisting after the same goal: survival. As I type, I look around at the faces. I see stress, anxiety, sugar, caffeine...all basic tools in pursuing towards the final product.

Table after table, strewn with laptops, textbooks, Red Bull, Polar Pop, candy bars, cookies...anything to get us all through the night. Students scrawl notes anxiously and type term papers furiously...all just looking to the end, knowing it will all be over soon. Survival is in their grasp.

Finals are my favorite part of each semester, not because of the mass amounts of labor that are required, but the realization that we're all in this together. I see my own worries and struggles reflected in the faces of my exhausted and work-weary peers and I can comprehend that I'm not alone.

We're all stressed, we're all over-worked, we're all tired. But, we're all also going to succeed. It's times like these that make everything worth it.

Lauren sits next to me, stressing over every objective, strategy, tactic, key message....I look on in awe. I can crank out some ideas but I need more motivation. I shouldn't be blogging...I should be working.

The weather is inclimate now. Each smoke break, the outdoors seem more and more menacing. At the same time, though, it provides some solace. The snow dances across the sides of the building and I reflect on this time last year. The consistency brings me some sort of peace. Although not optimal, the weather here certainly is reliable. I can't wait for this time next year, when I will be frantically completing my PR campaign. These hours in the library will bring me closer to that time when I will finally be free. Free to do as I please and start to make my way in the world. Is it strange that I see my future reflected in the snow? I look out the window and see everything ahead of me.

I can't wait.


I hope this is what my future looks like...I want my hippie days.

Waiting for the beat to kick in, but it never does...

Other than saying I wish I was more like the woman to the left (SJP ♥), this post will not be so much about my words today as another's words which have truly inspired me.

The song below really struck a note with me the other day. It came to me at a time when I was thinking about the same things. (Except I was more worried about writing term papers than writing some mad beatz...)

What do you mean keep it real, could someone please explain,
when reality is just light interpreted by your brain?
And if mine and your perceptions ain't one & the same,
which one of us is normal and which one is insane?

The skin never forgets a deep abrasion,
yet your brain often forgets deep conversations.
This annoys me, due to the nature of humanity.
I want to remember the good, not just the bad things that happened to me.
And, yeah, I understand the mind's an intricate tapestry.
So is the skin and that still records damage, see.

This scar above my eyebrow is from when I was a kid
and my skin has kept record of the damage I did.
Twenty some years down the line from that very day,
documentation of the carelessness and the price you pay.
Yet, this over-complex brain that just sits inside of my head
can't remember the last things me & my friend J said.

I don't want to be just devoid of desire.
I don't want to be another bird on the wire.
I don't want to be just a log on the fire.
I don't want to be that at all.

I've got a heart rate that's erratic.
I guess god fucked up the schematic.
I can't hack it and I panic and that makes it go pneumatic,
causing landslides tearing at my insides.

Sometimes I think I'll live forever, but I know I won't.
When I really should be working on the flow, I dont.
I just sit here & read extracts from this note I wrote,
trying to find something that is worth a quote.

Fixing up mad bitches like lobotomy stitches.
When I hit a tight rhyme see my leg, it twitches.
I ain't into this game for the fame or riches.
Good to write tight rhymes, street poems and scriptures.

Now what's the point I'm making? Why I'm saying this out loud?
Am I convincing myself or pandering to the crowd?
You hear every word, you would still never know me.
Like Sean Penn could win 10 Oscars but he'll still be Spicoli.



(Rapper's Battle - Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip)

etc...

A new year is quickly approaching & I don't feel any different. Yet, I feel completely different.
Where did this year go? I feel like it blew past me before I even knew it was coming. I can't help but wonder did I live this year to the fullest?
Yes and no...I fell in love, started a folk band, started my major classes, etc. However, graduation got bumped a semester, I still don't have any idea what I'm going to do for my internship, my grades are suffering a stress-induced decline (18 hrs. of public relations courses kick my ass), etc. etc. etc.
It's also time for lists...Year's Best, Decade's Best and I'd like to contemplate some possible New Year's resolutions. For the "best of" lists, I'd like to do albums and movies. We'll see how that goes...
Speaking of lists...

Things I'm Thankful For:
#1: my Brandapanda
#2: my wonderful friends
#3: FASHION (see photo...)
#4: great music/jamming with my wonderful friends.

Am I a masochist?

I know how jealous I am. So,why do I ask? I always ask & then regret. I guess I just secretly wish I was slender & sexy & desirable, too.
Why does society make girls think they're borderline worthless if they're not the ideal that's in magazines & films & on stage? Why do we allow ourselves to subscribe to such bullshit ideologies? Why is it that we have allowed our society to create an image of what women should be?
Men idealize this fantasy. Women strive to be that picture in the magazine. Furthermore, they hate those who are and hate themselves when they're not.
Unfortunately, I don't have the answers. I do, however, think about it a lot. I guess I even worry about it a lot.
Somewhere along the way, it all got into my head & I've convinced myself that if I don't look like this or act like that, even the love of my life, who I know would love me regardless, would somehow not find me beautiful or sexy enough.
As much as I don't want to care, I know that I do & it bothers me. I want to be happy with who I am, not what I seem to think I should be. Although, honestly, I am happy the majority of the time but then, whether it's hormones or just moments of weakness, there are a lot of times that I am not.
People are so fickle. I hate it when my boyfriend talks about some "hot chick" but I wouldn't like it if he didn't either. I always want to know, but then I'm upset when I know the truth.
Why the fuck does it matter?! Besides, as much as I like to think that I don't idealize certain men, I'm sure I absolutely do, consciously or not.
More than anything, I just want to be in people's heads. I want to know what's going on. I want to know how all this works. Why do we allow these ideals to ruin relationships, self-esteem, points of view?

Ethos...

According to the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary, the definition of ethos is "the distinguishing character, sentiment, moral nature, or guiding beliefs of a person."
As a student of journalism, I have seen more than my fair share of ethical fallacies and lapses in judgment. Lately I have been wondering, what ever happened to good old fashioned character?
I have been working on a group project on Health Care for my Newswriting class. One of my group members scooped the interview and contact information that another group member had set up and acquired and claimed them as his own. The same group member wrote questions that were not only unnecessary for the story, but completely insensitive to the families that were being interviewed. He wanted to ask sick and dying people how their intimate lives had changed and other things that were entirely too personal and uncomfortable.
The group and I decided that we should ask all the same questions in all of the interviews to ensure consistency. I ended up losing my main interview and looking like an insensitive prick because that group member reworded all of my initial questions into things that my couple didn't feel comfortable answering.
Furthermore, when my interview fell through, my dad suggested that I interview my parents and change the names to pass as the other interview. This completely goes against my moral character. How can people really consider things like that as an option?
What happened to the days when business was conducted in a manner of sympathy and decency? Why do people think it's OK to hurt people and push others down in an attempt to make way for yourself? When did people stop being so humble and become self-righteous, self-interested, insensitive muckrakers?

What happened to ethos?!

I feel like...

I'm the conductor of the fail train & it's about to jump the tracks...

insidesocial.com(^image)

indian summer

wallpepper.wordpress.com

Some things I have been enjoying lately:

*Warm-ish autumn days.
Indian summers are a truly beautiful thing! I love still being able to sit on my porch and enjoy a gorgeous day! There have only been a few days that have actually required a heavy coat so far, which I love. I'm not the winter type. My roommates and I actually sat in the yard in shorts and tee-shirts last week carving pumpkins. I found it quite humorous, actually.
*Lykke Li.
I'm obsessed. That is all.
*Concocting autumn-themed munchies.
Last night alone, I made snickerdoodle cookies with a drizzle of homemade buttercream frosting and Halloween sprinkles, savory roasted pumpkin seeds and a from-scratch pumpkin pie. I had never made a pumpkin pie with a legit pumpkin before. It was exciting and turned out spectacularly well!
*Being ahead on homework.
This semester has been eating me alive. I have been buried in homework since day one and, subsequently, have been losing my mind. This week, however, I have been at least one day ahead of schedule...it's actually a quite splendid feeling being able to watch movies and enjoy myself a little bit.
*Doing well on tests.
Unfortunately, I got a little too wrapped up in the glory of free time and ended up totally surpassing study time for my Principles of Public Relations exam that I had today. Regardless, it was a breeze!
*Seeing my boyfriend most of the weekend, every weekend.
Last weekend we got coffee, saw some friends, did dinner & a movie (Ponyo is precious, in case you were wondering), drove down some back-roads to get to Guitar Center to buy his birthday present (stopped at a pumpkin stand on the way), talked to our friend in rehab and spent approximately 2 1/2 hours bumming around Half-Price Books. This weekend, we are contemplating Old People Day (We want to dress up like old people and do "old people things" like feed the ducks and take long drives in the country...Just because that's probably what we would do anyhow, only more fun) and we get to party at my house in Kent for Halloween. It's going to be incredible. I can't wait.
*Getting interviews (Straylight Run: this Monday) and in-studio guests (saintseneca: TBA) for my radio show (Mondays, 12-2 a.m.)
Maybe, now we'll actually have a few people tune in? Midnight to 2 a.m. on a Monday simply has to be the shittiest slot to ever exist...

and when i see you, i really see you upside-down.

Dorm living & I were never really meant to be, I don't think....I'm an outrageously personal individual sometimes. There are many times when I feel a desperate need to be alone & blare the music that gives me chillbumps & write or read or sing at the top of my lungs for hours on end. Listening to the first 5 words of my roommate's "Souljahboy" ringtone repeatedly, however, does not make that list!

I love, more than anything, finding new sources of inspiration! I have a somewhat-unparalleled infatuation with musicians, it seems. Although I do have some innate musical talent I don't see a career as an artist in the cards; however, I feel that I have the spirit of a musician! Have you ever read something & found yourself considering the author your kindred spirit? I get that a lot. Most recently, Vinnie Fiorello of Less Than Jake has astounded me with his mind of sheer brilliance. Not only does he have a ridiculously marketable resume but he is also one of the most primordially passionate people I've ever met. His blog makes me laugh, cry, contemplate & wish to be a better writer simultaneously. He is, in one word, incredible.

I feel like the worst of people sometimes. Why do I have to be the "heartbreaker" sometimes? This is not a role I asked for....

People seriously bother me when they are fake. What do they think they have to hide? Be yourself. Don't worry about what others think of you. (It's none of your business.) Life is too short to care. Do what you want & what makes you happy...What more can anyone expect of you? Why waste your time on things that make you hurt?