So today was on off day...stay with me and I'm sure we'll have a few hundred more...

Today was one of those days that I couldn't help but wonder, "If I leave my sunglasses on all day, do you think anyone will know I'm crying?"
The future is a scary thing...especially when you're trying to plan one for more than just yourself. You see, I fell in love. When that happens, all the things you had planned go out the window. Sometimes for the best, sometimes not, but always unexpected.
I'm one of those girls that likes to have a plan. I like to know where I'm going and what I'm doing. I've never been one to fly too far by the seat of my pants.
Apartments, jobs, grades, parents, boyfriends, roommates...sometimes I wish it was just plain ol' me. But really...what fun would that be?
Life sure ain't easy and it ain't always fun, but you do what you can and hope for the best. Sometimes, that's just all right by me.

I Felt Free....

And it's nights like this that made us feel alive...

The beginning to a weekend of phenomenal proportions...I attended a house show at "House House" last night. I got down. I conversed with some wonderful people. I loved life.
It was one of those nights where you feel like the world makes sense again. The sheer atmosphere of community enveloped everyone around. I felt like everyone was just waiting around the corner to meet me and be life-long friends. The sense of Do It Together, rather than Do It Yourself...No one is left to their own devices. Last night went beyond the singularity of being straight into the depths of love, friendship and neighborhood.
Tonight, I fully anticipate getting down even harder! I'm so ready to party with Thrice and Manchester Orchestra! LET'S FUCKING GOOOO!
Tomorrow, we celebrate all of the hard work that the fantastic Burr crew invested all semester long coming to fruition in the form of a simply marvelous publication! I'm very proud to have been a part of this endeavor. Tomorrow we want everyone to join us at Professor's Pub in Kent, Ohio at 7 p.m. for food, music and jubilation!!!
Saturday, I fear for the safety of my household (but in a good way?). The annual CollegeFest will be ravaging my street from approximately 9 a.m. until another fire breaks out (see photo above from last year...) or the police shut us down (see other photo from last year...) or we simply dissipate like good civilians...Regardless, it is sure to be an event not to be missed!

I'm just exactly where I want to be...

After all, it's you, my pride and me...

I've been putting this blogpost off for way too long. I'm not a very loyal writer. I'll doubt my abilities to translate my thoughts and simply avoid sitting down to the therapeutic roll of my fingers over the keys that I secretly miss so much.
I bought tickets to see two absolutely phenomenal bands today. I have a date with Mister Dustin Kensrue and Mister Andy Hull next Thursday.
Thrice has been one of my all-time favorite bands since I was in eighth grade. They have changed the way I see music. It's not about what you used to make, it's about what you have still yet to create.
The first time I saw Manchester Orchestra was with another band that I have listened to since my youth. Brand New was a very important part of my high school years, so seeing Manchester Orchestra before them was a monumental event. They have such a great aesthetic and don't subscribe to any genre. They always push themselves further and find new ways to interpret themselves.
On Thursday, these loose threads of my musical repertoire will entwine as I get to experience what is bound to be the concert of the year.
I have to admit that I fell behind on their discographies. I am catching up today and, my, how I have missed you guys!
Manchester Orchestra has found a harsher, rougher, earthier niche that suits them so perfectly! 'Means Everything to Nothing' has swept it's way up the rungs of my musical heirarchy. This album is a keeper. From the production quality to the use of instruments, their true musical ability really shines on this album. They have a much more organic sound, that is electronic and pulsing around the edges. It is the perfect juxtaposition of the former sharp, electric sounds of 'You Brainstorm, I Brainstorm, But Brilliance Needs A Good Editor' and the blues roots lo-fi feel that began to surface in 'Like A Virgin Losing A Child.'
Thrice, on the other hand, is just a whole 'nother mammal! These guys have never ceased to astound me with their constant progression. These guys don't burn bridges, they build them. As a matter of fact, they build entire highways. They don't let anything fall behind in what they have learned about their sound. Everything that you hear in this album can show you where they've been. They incorporate every punk-rock chord they used back in the 'Identity Crisis' days and every discordant melody they discovered with 'Alchemy Index.' Yet somehow, you can always find something new. The only thing that troubles me about this album is where will they go next? They've covered so much ground, what could be left? But then again, isn't that what I say everytime? That's the sign of true musicianship.

The climax of a narrative or sequence of events...

Who would have thought that the payoff for all the aforementioned hardwork would come so soon? Today, I found out that I am the first ever Director of Public Relations and Marketing for The Burr, one of the school magazines (which is a paid position!).
About 15 minutes after finding out that I got the job, we had our first meeting and we have another meeting on Friday. I feel like I'm being inducted by fire...but I absolutely love it!

Some initial ideas for promotion:

1. Incorporate local businesses into the campaign by asking them to host promotional concerts.
2. Create a grassroots movement, similar to the Obey phenomenon, of ambiguous promotion materials to spark interest and interaction.
3. Taking a multimedia approach to promotions by utilizing standard items such as stickers, fliers, etc...as well as promotional spots in other forms of student media, online videos and, perhaps, photojournalistic efforts.


All of this was cultivated in under an hour. I'm getting very good vibes about this!

I can see my future reflected in the snowflakes.

Here I am, plugging away at my PR case study, surrounded by masses of the student body, all persisting after the same goal: survival. As I type, I look around at the faces. I see stress, anxiety, sugar, caffeine...all basic tools in pursuing towards the final product.

Table after table, strewn with laptops, textbooks, Red Bull, Polar Pop, candy bars, cookies...anything to get us all through the night. Students scrawl notes anxiously and type term papers furiously...all just looking to the end, knowing it will all be over soon. Survival is in their grasp.

Finals are my favorite part of each semester, not because of the mass amounts of labor that are required, but the realization that we're all in this together. I see my own worries and struggles reflected in the faces of my exhausted and work-weary peers and I can comprehend that I'm not alone.

We're all stressed, we're all over-worked, we're all tired. But, we're all also going to succeed. It's times like these that make everything worth it.

Lauren sits next to me, stressing over every objective, strategy, tactic, key message....I look on in awe. I can crank out some ideas but I need more motivation. I shouldn't be blogging...I should be working.

The weather is inclimate now. Each smoke break, the outdoors seem more and more menacing. At the same time, though, it provides some solace. The snow dances across the sides of the building and I reflect on this time last year. The consistency brings me some sort of peace. Although not optimal, the weather here certainly is reliable. I can't wait for this time next year, when I will be frantically completing my PR campaign. These hours in the library will bring me closer to that time when I will finally be free. Free to do as I please and start to make my way in the world. Is it strange that I see my future reflected in the snow? I look out the window and see everything ahead of me.

I can't wait.


I hope this is what my future looks like...I want my hippie days.

Waiting for the beat to kick in, but it never does...

Other than saying I wish I was more like the woman to the left (SJP ♥), this post will not be so much about my words today as another's words which have truly inspired me.

The song below really struck a note with me the other day. It came to me at a time when I was thinking about the same things. (Except I was more worried about writing term papers than writing some mad beatz...)

What do you mean keep it real, could someone please explain,
when reality is just light interpreted by your brain?
And if mine and your perceptions ain't one & the same,
which one of us is normal and which one is insane?

The skin never forgets a deep abrasion,
yet your brain often forgets deep conversations.
This annoys me, due to the nature of humanity.
I want to remember the good, not just the bad things that happened to me.
And, yeah, I understand the mind's an intricate tapestry.
So is the skin and that still records damage, see.

This scar above my eyebrow is from when I was a kid
and my skin has kept record of the damage I did.
Twenty some years down the line from that very day,
documentation of the carelessness and the price you pay.
Yet, this over-complex brain that just sits inside of my head
can't remember the last things me & my friend J said.

I don't want to be just devoid of desire.
I don't want to be another bird on the wire.
I don't want to be just a log on the fire.
I don't want to be that at all.

I've got a heart rate that's erratic.
I guess god fucked up the schematic.
I can't hack it and I panic and that makes it go pneumatic,
causing landslides tearing at my insides.

Sometimes I think I'll live forever, but I know I won't.
When I really should be working on the flow, I dont.
I just sit here & read extracts from this note I wrote,
trying to find something that is worth a quote.

Fixing up mad bitches like lobotomy stitches.
When I hit a tight rhyme see my leg, it twitches.
I ain't into this game for the fame or riches.
Good to write tight rhymes, street poems and scriptures.

Now what's the point I'm making? Why I'm saying this out loud?
Am I convincing myself or pandering to the crowd?
You hear every word, you would still never know me.
Like Sean Penn could win 10 Oscars but he'll still be Spicoli.



(Rapper's Battle - Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip)

etc...

A new year is quickly approaching & I don't feel any different. Yet, I feel completely different.
Where did this year go? I feel like it blew past me before I even knew it was coming. I can't help but wonder did I live this year to the fullest?
Yes and no...I fell in love, started a folk band, started my major classes, etc. However, graduation got bumped a semester, I still don't have any idea what I'm going to do for my internship, my grades are suffering a stress-induced decline (18 hrs. of public relations courses kick my ass), etc. etc. etc.
It's also time for lists...Year's Best, Decade's Best and I'd like to contemplate some possible New Year's resolutions. For the "best of" lists, I'd like to do albums and movies. We'll see how that goes...
Speaking of lists...

Things I'm Thankful For:
#1: my Brandapanda
#2: my wonderful friends
#3: FASHION (see photo...)
#4: great music/jamming with my wonderful friends.